Saturday, November 4, 2017

Crazy Train

It only took around six weeks to hack into my Slow Panic email. Six weeks of thinking about it interspersed with quick attempts at guessing my password, going down the rabbit hole of password recovery, resetting the password, forgetting the password and starting over.

Finally, this morning, I did it.  I opened Blogger and logged in.  

So hi.  Here I am.  

I took a quick and painful look at how long it's been since I blogged, skimmed some really horrible posts from the past (which, sadly, resemble this post very much) and logged into Feedly to see if any of my old blog friends are still blogging.  They are. I've missed them.

Hashtag Slow Panic Loser.

So yes, same old story.  I miss this space and I miss writing and now I'm 50 (WTH) and I have three dogs and one and a half cats and still have one husband and two teenagers.  I am still caretaker for my mom and it is still difficult and painful and sad.

In two weeks we are moving from our very small house to a bigger house. We've been in this house for 21 years.  I don't want to leave and I can't wait to get out of here.  

I'm just as alone as I've always been and more surrounded by people then ever.   

I'm constantly trying to figure out how to get off this crazy train and how to extend the ride forever.  All at the same time.  And I'm taking you with me. 

Tuesday, December 29, 2015


This is one of my favorite weeks of the year.  The pre-Christmas craziness is over and the return to school is still a week off.

I have time.  Blessed, wonderful time.

I finished The Man in the High Castle Sunday and am already deep into The Interestings, which I am really enjoying.

Yesterday I undecorated for  Christmas.   I'll have the boys drag the tree out to the curb this afternoon and that will be that.

I started bringing plants in yesterday.  This freakish weather we're having allowed me to procrastinate.  There are rumors of temps in the 30s later this week so I'm making room inside for some of the geraniums and other annuals that still look decent and taking cuttings from those that have seen better days.

I've been cleaning and decluttering.  Marathoning The West Wing.  Crocheting the first 20 rows of a sweater over and over and over.  Enjoying the ripping out as much as the putting together.

I've been napping.  Ridiculously long naps, all three dogs snuggled in close.

Next week it's back to serious job hunting and selling mom's house.  Two enormous tasks I set aside for the holidays.

This week is recharging.  Recharging, planning, dreaming.  Resting and resetting for the new year.