Christmas Vacation Schol Project. Yeah, You Read That Right

I'm quite annoyed that I'm spending my afternoon creating a presentation for D9 to use when he gets back to school.  Yes, the parents are expected to "help" with this project.  I remember when J13 did this four years ago.  I think I tried to get him much more involved in the creative process.  I have since given up such foolishness.

The presentation/project is each 3rd grader memorized an Aesop's Fable and on the second day back from school they have to recite it and they must have a prop/presentation/blah blah blah of some sort.

Ugh.  I'm not sure I understand the timing on this.  It's how we did it four years ago as well.  Memorize the fable in December and then present immediately following vacation.

Which means I have to remember to have him recite it every day for me.  I have to worry, plan and create the presentation/prop/annoying piece of crap DURING our Christmas break.  Then I have to get him to rehearse it even though, as he so appropriately points out "It's Christmas vacation!!!"

At least this time I'm taking care of it days, and not hours, before the presentation.

Other then this we have been having a wonderful post-Christmas/pre-New Years week.  Very quiet.  Very chilled.  Very nice.


OK.  The glue is dry.  Back to my project.  I mean D9s project.  I mean WHATEVER.

Winter Solstice

All day long the winter solstice tugged at my heart and told me to snuggle in with my kids while the light was low and cloudy on this shortest of days.

Instead I worked.  A lot.  And baked and cooked and shopped and pretty much ran around like a crazy person.  Not being still.  Not being quiet.  Not honoring in any way this turn in the seasons, the hope of lengthening days and the opportunity to appreciate what I already have.  To acknowledge that what is here in this house and in this family is enough and more then enough.

Tonight I'm going to to settle in, regroup, do something quiet with my kids, read a book  and wake up in the morning on a day where the light lasts just a little longer and we all unknowingly take that first step towards a new year, a new season.

The sleepover is over. Proof that there is a god.

Well, we survived the sleepover.  Yeah, his cute little lisp was annoying the hell out of me by 9:30 this morning.   Last night he kept insisting that he doesn't go to bed until 5:00.  In the morning.  Okay.  My kids got up at their usual 7:00 a.m. and crawled into bed with me, which I loved.  We are kind of a weird family.  Not because of the 7:00 a.m. snuggle thing, just because we are.  Here's the thing I really like about kids coming over.  When they leave I have a greater appreciation for how my kids are.  I know they have weird quirks that probably drive other adults crazy.  But they are mine and we are happy and content together.  What more could I ask for.

So when his mom came to pick him up she came inside and I said, "Welcome to our mess."  Even though it wasn't really that messy.  For us.  In fact, it was fairly picked up and decluttered.  For us.

Now when someone says something like "Welcome to our mess"  or "Sorry for the mess" or whatever I say, "Oh, it's not that bad" or "You should see my house" etc. etc.

This mom said, "Oh, is it time to clean?"

I was kind of speechless.  Then I said, "It's always time to clean at my house."  And she said, "Well, you have two cleaners here.  Is that on the agenda for Christmas break?"

I said, "No."

What I wanted to say was,  "No bitch.  It's not on the freaking agenda.  What's on the freaking (I wasn't really thinking the word freaking.  It was another word) agenda is to sit around in our jammies, play video games, eat tons of junk food, and CHILL.  And then roll around in the muck and filth that apparently is my home and by the way when I picked up your freakishly small lispy yet loud child yesterday I was not impressed by your poorly painted weird rusty orange walls on 16 foot ceilings in the living room and then the shockingly bright lime green dining room that didn't match at all."

That's what I wanted to say.  But I didn't.  I said, "Have a nice Christmas.  See you in the New Year."

Maybe.

There is a child in my houses that is not mine. Help me.

Somehow, through my own genius or lack thereof, I have managed thirteen years of parenthood without hosting a sleepover.

That's right.  Thirteen years.

J13 never wanted to go on a sleepover or have kids over for a sleepover.  D9's first sleepover -- at a birthday party about a year ago turned out to be a come-home-at-midnight instead of a sleepover.  I wasn't to surprised since it was with all the boys from his class -- none which he was particularly close to.

Since then he's had a couple of sleepovers at JS's house.  Today JS came to our house and they are having a great time.  It's about time I did this.  He asked several times but since it kind of freaks me out to have other kids here I've put it off.  I know I'm weird.  But it makes me nervous.  I'm worried that they'll be bored or start fighting or something.  Or require my attention.  God help us all.

Of course they are having a great time and in a little while I'll haul there little butts out to pizza.

He's such a sweet kid, I need to do what I can to encourage this friendship.  D9 doesn't have any other close friends and this kid took to him last year when he came to our school and really adores D9.

I sometimes forget that D9 is shy and kind of weird since J13 is extremely shy, super sensitive and kind of more weird (I mean this in the nicest, motherliest way).

J13 is keeping his eye on them for me.  It's like having a live-in baby sitter.  He's awfully responsible.  Thank God.  So I'm hanging out in my office catching up on blogs and trying to figure out what my next quilting project is going to be.

I love this few days before Christmas.  The kids are out of school and most of the shopping is done.  It's quiet.

Except for the three kids screaming at Super Smash Brothers that is.  That parts not quiet.

I wonder if they will notice if I slip some Benedryl into their root beer floats tonight?

Yoga

I went to a yoga class this morning.  The first one I've been to in quite a while.  I hurt my back a week or two before Thanksgiving.  I think I did go to a class right after the holiday but then hurt my back again.

Right after Thanksgiving I found out that the one class I was teaching had been cancelled.  Unfortunately I found this out by looking at the studio's website and seeing that the class was gone.  That sucked.  I contacted the owner right away and she had to cut three or four classes due to low attendance.  Despite getting a lot of good feedback from students and having several that swore by my classes I still feel like I failed.

It hit me a lot harder than I thought it would.  Especially since every week I would spend a few days worrying/freaking out about my class and it was always difficult to find time to plan for the class.  I really don't feel like I currently have the time to be the teacher I would like to be.  It's probably a good thing.  I know it is.  I love not having that commitment every Saturday at 11:30.  I love not having the pressure of worrying about what I'm going to do.

I still feel lost without it and haven't felt like being at the studio.  It was good to go back today.  It feels good to have my back better and to be able to make it through a flow class.   There's nothing like the energy in the room at the end of class.

I feel like I'm still finding my way.  I guess we always are.  I'm so good at resisting change and forward movement.  With my back being hurt and my class getting cancelled I really slipped into a little depression.  Now that I'm able to be active again and I have no excuses to practice I'm feeling a lot better.

Poem Thursday - Rumi

It's been a long time since I ready any poetry.  To long. I just found this.  Rumi never fails.


The Road Home
by Rumi

An ant hurries along a threshing floor with its wheat grain,
moving between huge stacks

of wheat, not knowing the abundance all around.  It thinks its
one grain is all there is to

love.  So we choose a tiny seed to be devoted to.  This body,
one path or one teacher.  Look

wider and farther.  The essence of every human being can see,
and what that essence-eye takes

in, the being becomes.  Saturn.  Solomon!  The ocean pours
through a jar, and you might say it

swims inside the fish!  This mystery gives peace to your
longing and makes the road home home.

December - Slow Panic Style

So far I have not been bitten by the Christmas bug.  Unless it's the Christmas bug that puts you not very in the mood for the holidays.  That bug I totally have.

I'm trying, but to tell you the truth I'm a little ready for it to be over.  I'm kind of annoyed with my inability to make an effort this year.  I have been having some serious back problems for the last month which has hampered my mood.  Don't really feel like decorating or shopping when you can't do anything but lay on your back for hours at a time.

Which has allowed me to get completely sucked into the A Song of Fire and Ice books.  I'm on book four.  I'm mildly addicted.  I've started reading blogs about the series and looking at art on-line and ok, reading chat threads.  I admit it.  And window shopping stuff on-line.  And trying not to stalk people at Barnes and Noble who are carrying the books around.  

What else?  J13 is taking midterms for the first time this week and it has been very frustrating.  He's not getting how to study and I'm not really wanting to hold his hand through the process.  I'm working with him a bit and trying to give him direction, but he's not really getting it.  He's kind of a learn-by-experience kid.  As was his mother.  Thus my frustration.  Unfortunately I can not convince him that his parents are not as stupid as he thinks we are.   He has two more tests tomorrow and then he's FINISHED.  I can not wait.

I've got that lazy, the holidays are over and it's time to relax feeling.  Except the holidays aren't over.  Oops.

I am almost done shopping.  All that's left is to make a lot of candy and cookies.  Which is not a bad place to be on the holiday to do list.