I've been at my mom's since late Sunday night.  We spent all day Monday and most of yesterday packing.  She is a little freaked out.  Monday she was walking around, picking things up, walking five feet and them putting them down, grabbing her head and saying, "I don't know what to do!!!"

It's been ugly.

I repacked and semi-sorted through a bunch of stuff that's been in storage in the basement.  I'm inheriting my Grandma's china. I repacked it and I'm not sure I had seen it before.  I didn't remember the pattern. I think it's been in storage since the early/mid 1970s. There's no time to go through everything that needs to be gone through.  We're moving a lot of stuff that will get tossed -- generations of family pictures, papers (my mom still had the invoices from when I was in college.  and the invoices from when SHE was in college), and other totally bizarre stuff.

I'm pretty sure the next time a lot of this will see daylight will be when my mom dies and I have to sort through the stuff.  Hopefully at that point I'll be able to toss it.  We're in such a hurry now to get her out of this house there hasn't been time to go through everything.

I am a little frustrated that she wants to hold onto stuff that is just trash and then wants to give away something significant -- like a western shirt my grandmother made for my mom, including hand embroidery, braiding and those little pearlized snap buttons.  She wanted to give it to Goodwill!!!

It's in my suitcase.

Today I'm switching gears and going to D.C. for an all day meeting with a new client and our creative team.  I'm looking forward to it because it's such a rare thing for me to do.  I love D.C.  Last night we had dinner in Dupont Circle and today we'll be near Union Station.    It's nice to do that every once in a while and I'm so glad I don't have to do it (the commute, the meetings) every day.

Freaking Out Mindfully

I think freaking out mindfully best describes my state of mind.

Things are progressing with my mom's move to Macon. I can't believe this is happening. I'm so freaked out. There's two stresses. The first is just getting her here -- buying the house, getting her packed, all of that. I've been over to the house three times now to deal with inspections and related issues. I don't really like being the middle person on this -- relaying to her what's happening. Especially since it's so difficult for her to make decisions and she is so ready to rely on me. The second stress is that she will be a part of my day to day life and have such easy access to me.

When we moved to Georgia it was a relief to get away from her and not have her so in my business. I don't want to deal with it. Am I ready to? I think so. Am I stronger then I was then? Yes. But I still don't want to do it.

All of that is just heaped on top of the usual -- work stuff, school starts in four weeks. FOUR WEEKS. I feel like summer just started. I've ordered uniforms and need to fill out forms, buy supplies, etc. J13 has to read two books and write a summary on them. We've barely started.

I'm leaving Saturday morning for a two day meditation retreat at the yoga studio I trained at. Really looking forward to that. Then Sunday evening I'm flying to MD to help my mom pack. Not looking forward to that. Although I'll get some work time in with my boss and I'll be meeting a new client that will potentially/hopefully take me to Amsterdam and other places. So there is good to look forward to.

Poemish Thursday

This is what you shall do

by Walt Whitman

"This is what you shall do; Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body."

"This is what you shall do..." by Walt Whitman, from the preface of Leaves of Grass. Public domain.

This appeared on The Writer's Almanac Monday.