Now We Live At Home

OK. We are finally back at our house. Yea. We moved home Wednesday. We only have electricity on our bedroom so we're running extension cords through the house. It is craziness but it is good.

Hopefully by the end of the day we'll have the fridge plugged in (yeah, it's gonna be a nasty job scrubbing that puppy today) and maybe the oven. Although fridge and oven sounds a bit luxurious, not sure I'm up for that.

We don't have a light in the bathroom -- so the kids have to bathe/shower before it gets dark -- which makes for a quieter, less stressful evening. (I'm so damn half glass full aren't I?)

Mostly I am just glad to be home and not running back and forth. I'm still missing stuff and have to make a trip out to the in-laws to dig out the rest of our stuff but we are home.

We have so much work to do on this house. We're talking about finally remodeling the kitchen and doing that next since we are going to have to rip out the walls to put in the new switches and outlets and ceiling light. I would show you pics of my kitchen but it's to embarrassing. Maybe I'll wait until I have before and after pics to show you.

Anways the best part is you don't have to hear about me not having electricity. This is a good day for you people.

Yellow

Earlier this week I read this post at Evolution of Belief by MKHBlink. It's a wonderful post about where we find God, how we experience God and how other's perceive us and assume things about us.

It made me think of this poem.

Yellow

by Mary Oliver

There is the heaven we enter

through institutional grace

and there are the yellow finches bathing and singing

in the lowly puddle.

My Coat Is Melting

and nine other random and not really that interesting things about me:

Ten Things Tuesday

1. My coat is melting -- 'cuz of my little space heater in my office and it's chilly in here and my coat is not made of natural materials.

2. My current fridge is a fabulous soft sided box cooler thingy I got at the grocery store. (see previous posts about no electricity in my house).

3. I'm developing a serious tea drinking problem after discovering that yes, the amount of caffeine in coffee is the reason I'm laying in bed at night staring at the ceiling and conjuring up a nervous breakdown.

4. I think my cat is sick. Bad kitty. Bad Bad kitty.

5. It is not possible for me to have to many post-it notes in, on or around my desk area.

6. I work at home. Please don't tell my boss.

7. I've got a serious jones to knit or sew today -- is it escapism (see previous posts about no electricity in my house) or am I truly feeling creative and artsy?

8. I miss the midwest -- big open skies, prairies and all that.

9. I used to play the piano. Now I don't. I should do that again.

10. The first night we start sleeping at our house again (see previous posts about no electricity in my house) I'm crawling into bed with a giant cup of tea (see #5) and the latest Vogue, quilting and cooking magazines and damn to hell anyone who comes near me.

Another Fascinating Post About My Life

I'll just post while I'm waiting for the water to boil so I can wash the dishes. No. No I'm not tired of no electricity at my house AT ALL.

sigh.

We were so close yesterday. I think that's what got me. Saturday we got the new breaker box installed and yesterday MH spent seven hours doing something or other to the wiring and for like five minutes WE HAD LIGHTS IN THE BEDROOMS.

And then something or other went wrong and we didn't.

We drug our sorry, sad, depressed asses back to my mother-in-law's for the night.

It's hard not knowing when it's going to be fixed. Sometimes I think we'll never get back here, but of course I know we will and most likely sometime later this week.

Everyone is on edge. The kids are tired of the back and forth. I'm tired of cooking and cleaning n a dark kitchen (we have a gas stove so I can light the burners).

The thing about half-living in your house is you really start to look at it. This is a good thing. I'm seeing things that I don't need and things that I want to change. It's a new perspective and one I desperately needed. It's giving me time to think about how I can do things differently, that it's time to make the changes I spend so much time wishing I would make.

I spent this weekend cleaning and organizing the kids room and it's back to the point where they can play in it (imagine that). They are so happy in there. I wondered while I was working on it this weekend -- if we hadn't had this crisis what would I have been doing? Would I have been cleaning their room and taking care of things that have been neglected for so long? Probably not.

I kind of needed this kick in the ass. I'm just hoping the ass-kicking is over soon.

Why Not To Blog Tired

There should probably be a law against blogging tired. I posted a poem about celery last night. Does that horrify anyone else besides me? Horrify is probably a little strong.

Yes I was tired yesterday. I think the house stress caught up with me yesterday. I was so sleepy all day long and I crashed on my mother-in-law's couch around 6:30 and pretty much didn't get up again.

I'm trying not to write about our freaky house but since it's the main character in our current drama it's hard not to.

Today we are going to start rewiring the baseboards. Tomorrow an electrician is coming to install the new breaker box -- we are hoping to be home (as in sleep at our house) Sunday night.

We still have to rip up all the plaster walls --we're just going to do a room at a time. Yes it is a horrendous job. I'm not looking forward to it.

The truth is we should have done this years ago and the really ugly truth is it's time for us to grow up and start taking care of the house. That's what I really need to write about and what I don't want to admit to anyone. Although I've finally admitted it to myself and I guess that's a start.

Poem Thursday - Ogden Nash

I went to D7's first grade Valentine's Day party this afternoon. They recited several poems for us (yes, at their party) including this one:

Celery

by Ogden Nash

Celery ray

Develops the jaw,

But celery, stewed,

is more quietly chewed.

Yes. That is my poem for you for today. I wish you could have seen those little cuties reciting it, sitting at their desks with their Valentines cookies and treats in front of them. I wanted to hug all of them.

Ten Things Tuesday -- A Little Gratitude

Since I have been so generously sharing with you my fears and frustrations over my house I thought maybe I should show some gratitude. Here's ten things I'm thankful for today:

1. Being back in my home office -- I'm running computer, modem and printer off a generator.

2. The drive through the country from the in-laws into town -- so nice and quiet.

3. Hanging out at home with my two dogs and cats.

4. Pandora.com

5. Being able to make my own tea instead of ordering it.

6. We might be moving back home Wednesday.

7. I can run my sewing machine off the generator too.....

8. My kids didn't freak out when I told them the fish died (D7 folded his hands and said, "we gather here in honor of these fish" -- and that was that)

9. The cake decorating class I'm taking with my mother-in-law (and J11, but for the love of God do not tell the kids in his class).

10. A mother-in-law who is making a point of telling us how much she enjoys having us stay with her --despite the fact that we are loud and incredibly messy.

Our House

This is what we are going to have to do to our walls to rewire the house. When I say we. I mean we. MH is getting certified for electrical work, which is going to save us thousands and thousands of dollars. Our house still has the original 1929 wiring. Which is somehow screwed into the wall using some kind oft terra cotta thingy. I don't know. It's all a blur right now. I just know I stood and watched MH do this to the dining room:

The good (?) news is he'll also be able to install the breaker box. And I think we may be back in our house this weekend -- with electricity only in some rooms or something or other. I will be able to do laundry, cook and do dishes and get on-line. I just want to go home.

Really this isn't that bad. I do have a little perspective. It's very inconvenient, but it has to be done and it will be great to have the house updated.

Meanwhile, this pretty much sums up how I'm feeling:



I needed to clean the fridge anyways

So yesterday we were cleaning up for the speech therapist and the lights blinked a couple of times and then went off.

Did I mention our house was built in 1929?

Did I mention we haven't gotten around to upgrading the electricity in the 14 years of living in the house?

Did I mention it's an actual miracle the house hasn't burned down yet?

After a few hours of fiddling around with wires and fuse boxes (yes we still have fuses) and a couple of trips to Lowes we figured out that the whole thing is just shot and we need to upgrade the box (no kidding) and rewire the house.

This is the part where I start drinking every fifteen minutes and/or become comatose and/or kill myself.

Fortunately (or not) my husband (MH) is getting certified in doing electrical things -- he's actually half-way through his first electricity class -- yea us.

Anyways, this morning I did the dishes --and yes I had to heat the water on the stove, cleaned out the fridge (way nastier than I thought it would be), packed up all the laundry I was going to do today, and we moved out to my mother-in-laws. We will most likely be here for a week. at least. Depending on what kind of electrician we can find to fix this thing.

We'll be driving home a couple of times a day to check on the cat and the fish (the fish are never going to survive this). I'll be moving my home office out here.

Luckily I have the world's best mother-in-law ever. If we had to move in with my mom we'd all be dead in 24 hours.

Sadly we seem to be the kind of people that take care of things this way -- wait until it falls apart. I'm hoping this will be the kick in the ass we need to be proactive and take care of things before they totally fall apart. We'll see. At least I'll have something to blog about for the next few days or so.

A Meme for Me

52 Faces tagged me for this meme. I'm not tagging anybody but anyone who wants to steal it -- knock yourself out and have a great Friday.

1. What is your occupation right now? project manager for small communications firm, mom

2. What color are your socks right now? barefooted

3. What are you listening to right now? Coconut Records -- It's Not You It's Me

4. What was the last thing that you ate? four slices of apple.... k now i'm hungry

5. Can you drive a stick shift? yep

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone: my boss

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? I do. I heart 52 Faces

8 . How old are you today? forty freaking two

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? football. football. football

10. What is your favorite drink? vodka with anything citrusy

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? dyed? like a funky color? no. i should have though. i've colored it, but it's been years.

12. Favorite food? right now i think it is dark chocolate with sea salt and this really good lemongrass broth with mushroom dumplings that I've been making

13. What is the last movie you watched? at the theater -- Sherlock Holmes

14. Favorite day of the year? any day where there is no drama going on

15. How do you vent anger? keep it inside until i start screaming at everyone

16. What was your favorite toy as a child? i don't remember having a favorite toy (poor me) but i must have had one...

17. What is your favorite season? spring

18. Cherries or Blueberries? blueberries

18. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? i'm not sure i understand the question -- oh to this meme, it started as e-mail. back in the old days.

19. Who is the most likely to respond? i have no idea.

20. Who is least likely to respond? again, no idea

21. Living arrangements? smallest house in georgia and here i am with one husband, two boys, two dogs, one cat, and (last time i counted) nine fish

22. When was the last time you cried? came pretty close last night

23. What is on the floor of your closet? very dusty shoes piled in a heap

24. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are tagging/sending this to? afraid i am not tagging or sending this to anyone, but anyone who wants it knock yourself out

25. What did you do last night? watched a lot of bad t.v.

26. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? i'm kinda vegetarian... so it's been years since i had a lovely perfect cheeseburger.

27. What are you most afraid of? finishing projects

28. What is your favorite kind of dog? i loves them all, but i do have a very soft spot for beagles

29. Favorite day of the week? saturday and sunday

30. Diamonds or Pearls? not choosing. i love them both.

31. What is your favorite flower? k. why is this so hard? lavender, the blossoms on my rosemary (it's blooming right now), violets (orange and purple ones), camilla's, peonies,

32. What is your favorite blog to read and why? i can't pick. to many i love.

Poem Thursday - Kim Addonizio

Yes I am stealing from The Writer's Almanac again. This is their poem for today.

Ex Boyfriends

by Kim Addonizio

They hang around, hitting on your friends

or else you never hear from them again.

They call when they're drunk, or finally get sober,

they're passing through town and want dinner,

they take your hand across the table, kiss you

when you come back from the bathroom.

They were your loves, your victims,

your good dogs or bad boys, and they're over

you now. one writes a book in which a woman

who sounds suspiciously like you

is the first to be sadistically dismembered

by a serial killer. They're getting married

and want you to be the first to know,

or they've been fired and need a loan,

their new girlfriend hates you,

they say they don't miss you but show up

in your dreams, calling to you from the shoeboxes

where they're buried in rows in your basement.

Some nights you find one floating into bed with you,

propped on an elbow, giving you a look

of fascination, a look that says I can't believe

I've found you. It's the same way

your current boyfriend gazed at you last night,

before he pulled the plug on the tiny white lights

above the bed, and moved against you in the dark

broken occasionally by the faint restless arcs

of headlights from the freeway's passing trucks,

the big rigs that travel and travel,

hauling their loads between cities, warehouses,

following the familiar routes of their loneliness.

from What Is This Thing Called Love. © W.W. Norton, 2004

Does This Ever Happen To You?

About a month ago everything was great. Really. I should have been blogging then. I'm telling you I felt good. I didn't even know who I was. The holidays were over (always a big relief), my Vikings were looking good, even promising, even a little Super Bowl hopefullish. I was exercising, working, kind of taking care of the house and the kids. I was managing to Get Things Done.

Then BAM. Last week it all fell apart. First the NFC Championship game pretty much took me out for a whole day. I know. But come on people -- it's been over 30 years since they even went to the Super Bowl.

By Wednesday I was in bed trying to fight off a cold. By the weekend I was just dog sick and crawling out of bed every few hours to throw food at my kids. Meanwhile my husband, who had injured his foot (long story, boring, won't bother you with it) was camped out on the couch with a big bucket of ice and getting crankier by the minute.

I finally drug myself to the doctor yesterday and got some antibiotics. I gotta shake the cranky attitude and I will, but all of a sudden (OK, I'm seeing that it is not so all of a sudden) I'm feeling like everything is just really hard. Like getting the kids out the door, and working. I hate this feeling, like I can't do any more then sort of drag my feet.

I made this resolution at the beginning of the year not to be so whiny and complainy to my family. That's pretty much fallen apart this week.

The good thing is I know I can shake it and get back on track. A couple more days of antibiotics and a few more naps and I'll get back into my routine. But for now everything just feels really hard. I really hate when that happens.