So much for blogging every day this month. Maybe I'm starting over today. Maybe I'm not.
Today my boss of 20 years started his new job and I still haven't found anything. I"m having a really hard time with this. He's one of my best friends and the most influential mentor in my life and I'm feeling ungrounded as he heads off in a new direction. I'm feeling a little left behind.
I'm feeling lost and unanchored and directionless.
It doesn't help that last week I spent four days with my mom. My cousin was visiting, which was wonderful. She stayed with mom and we spent all of our time unpacking and decorating the mom's apartment.
For some reason my mom was snarky and passive aggressive with me, picking fights and making digs. As soon as my cousin left her behavior greatly improved, but it was exhausting.
In her defense I took the bait more then I would have if it was just the two of us. There was much reminiscing and reflecting on her childhood and my grandparents and my dad. Subjects I'm not very fond of.
So today I'm feeling a little beat up. I'm trying to reset. The problem is I feel like I have been trying to reset for the past two years and I'm still in the same place.