I saw you roll your eyes. It's OK. I did too.
How many times have I made the commitment to write consistently and failed completely?
Many, many times.
What makes me think this time is different?
Which is really what makes this time different, that I am admitting the high chance of failure as I'm starting instead of telling myself this is going to be the big change that changes everything.
That's a nasty little habit I have. Rashly starting some diet or exercise routine or creative challenge or housekeeping habit and thinking that if I can just commit to that one thing my whole life will transform into the elusive perfect life that is always somehow just barely out of reach. That, if I'm really honest with myself, I don't believe I can have as the person I currently am.
That the only way to get to this far off completely unrealistic place is to CHANGE and BE BETTER and TO DO MORE.
There is a part of my brain and my heart that knows that is not true. That real peace and contentment comes from being comfortable with who you are right now. That that is enough. And I've had pockets of time where that was at the top of my head and heart and I was content.
The last year fear smashed it's way back in and headed straight to the front of the line. I think it's time to start writing about it.
It's been a long year professionally and personally. I'm still sorting out what to write about. But I'm making this commitment -- 100 days of writing -- in hopes that it will help me sort things out and come out on the other side truly at the beginning of something new -- even if that new thing is finding inner peace during challenging times.