Saturday, December 28, 2013

Space

Long before we bought our house, our attic was used as a third bedroom for the kids who lived here.  The attic has hardwood floors and beadboard walls -- currently half-covered by dry wall.

When we moved in half the staircase had been taken out and the fridge backed into that space.  We moved the fridge and rebuilt the staircase.  My husband and his dad put in a couple of skylights.

It is a beautiful space.

Then we proceeded, year after year, to fill it with junk.  Piled high.  Toys spilling everywhere.  Lost Christmas decorations.  Unnamable, embarrassing, completely unneeded garbage.

I started decluttering Thursday.  I am aware that some of the stuff up there wouldn't be garbage if we had been careful and intentional with it.  Unfortunately now it is garbage and I am hauling it away  -- either to the dump or to the local mission that runs a thrift shop.

Currently my boys share a bedroom and this is the perfect space for a third bedroom or a game room for them. 

I'd like to say this is the first time I've started cleaning up there, with the goal of turning it into a wonderful space.  Instead I will tell you it is impossible for me to know how many times I have started and then quit.

I really want this to be the time we finish this project.

I want to give my kids that.  I want them to see us accomplish something around here instead of talking and talking and talking and never doing.

I function so much better when surrounded by order and less stuff.  There's no doubt my husband is a slob and a non-finisher of projects and very much a dreamer and visionary of what is possible.  And a watcher of much do-it-yourself TV.

Wouldn't it be fun to blame all of this on him?

Sadly, here I am, a non-finisher of projects, a dreamer and visionary of what  is possible.  And also someone prone to melancholy, sadness, depression and horrible inertia.  And an inability to see past the mess, once it gets so heavy.

Can people change?  Yes,

Am I?  I hope so.

I know I'm not the only one with a cluttery attic or messy backyard, or filled closets and a job and an aging mother and two kids and all kinds of commitments.    

I'm still pushing forward.  I've taken two car loads to the mission and at least as much to the trash.  Just in the little I've done, I've found a new energy emerging.  In the space upstairs and within myself.   I'm allowing myself to think of the possibilities for the space upstairs and for myself.


4 comments:

smalltownme said...

I totally get this. I too am a dreamer and non-finisher. But getting even a little bit done, as you have is a great start! Even a small clear area, like the top of a dresser or the floor of my closet (speaking from personal experience here!) can be a great boost.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Brava! Atta girl!
Claim that space!
I agree with smalltownme, even if you can clear out an area of the space and make it nice, that will probably inspire you to keep going.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Now we are tied--two non-finishers and two always-finishers. If this were spring I would say take it all outside and then start bringing stuff back in--I find that easier sometimes.

Be ruthless with the tossing. There's a reason it ended up in there. Do you have plenty of storage elsewhere in the house or would putting in some storage cabinets for house stuff work? We used my daughter's big closet for all the linens because I use the linen closet for the just-a-few-times-a-year dishes.

Can you make some sort of game out of this to get some help with the project--your kids are old enough this shouldn't need to be a solo project. They can carry the trash, etc. so your energy can go just toward decision-making.

Clearly, I would prefer you lived next door so I could help you. I live for this stuff! Take before and after pics, if only for yourself!

Cha Cha said...

There's so much to be said for momentum. Let it energize you. You are the mighty attic queen! Drive to the mission IN TRIUMPH!