There's no question that I struggle with anxiety. Pretty much every day.
It's become such a habit, such a companion, I don't seem to be able to manage without it.
Even on a good day, a really nice, perfect day I still feel butterflies in my stomach and clenching in my throat -- physical symptoms of a wound up mind.
Living in the moment is always a struggle for me. I seem to be addicted to worrying about the next moment, the next task. I'm always anticipating where I need or want to be and have a hard time focusing on the task in front of me.
There are disciplines and tools that calm the anxiety and keep me anchored in the present moment:
•journaling (specifically morning pages as described in The Artist's Way)
•daily yoga practice -- even if it's just 20 - 30 minutes. ok, even if it's 15 minutes
Those are my three essential anchors.
When I decided to wean myself off the Prozac a few weeks ago I swore I would not waver from the above three habits.
We won't talk about how poorly I've done.
I titled this post Thursday Blessings. And then proceeded to talk about anxiety.
I do feel blessed today. Blessed with friends and family. With my new kitten and my sweet puppy. The opportunity to work at home in a nice quiet space, to flex my work time around my kids. It goes on and on.
I'm doing the 30 days of gratitude on Facebook and I think that is helping me with an awareness of the good in my life. Making my way back to blogging is helping as well. It's helping me prioritize.
Anxiety and worry are rooted and woven deep within my psyche, my mind, my heart. Contemplating unraveling it can bring on more anxiety.
Sitting still, closing my eyes, breathing. Even for five minutes, can bring me back. So I'm recommitting to the above three disciplines again, and I'm recommitting to some habit changes -- getting to bed early, cutting out television, finding more quiet space.
When I do the above my productivity skyrockets, my mind is quiet and I find the space and depth I need -- mentally and physically.