Monday, April 15, 2013

still capable of rambling

I really want to start blogging/writing again.  I've just had such a hard time jumping back in.  So I'm just starting with nothing this morning.  I'm just posting to post.  I've been struggling with what I can talk about or should talk about.   What should be public and what should be private.  Do I sound whiny? Or do I have legitimate complaints?  Why am I still talking/complaining about the same things I did a year ago or two years ago or five years ago?

Am I ever going to change?

Do I need to change as much as I think I do?

Or more?

Probably more.

Pretty sure it's more.

Am I ready to be myself on-line and not worry about what certain population segments of my life think?  Why do I care what other people think?  How does that happen?  Is that genetic?  Is that environmental?  Why did my birth mother give me up for adoption?  Honestly, what is up with that?  

I still think that is a valid question 46 years after my birth. I  honestly do.

So that's it.  I'm going to stop worrying so much about what I say or how I say it or who sees it.  It's time.  

The question is, what is it time for?

4 comments:

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I confess to struggling with what to share online and what to keep private. Sometimes it's because my story involves others, sometimes it's because I'm not ready for anyone else to react.
But welcome back and ramble on!

Bob said...

I'm sure it had something to do with traveling gypsies or an unaccepting society family.

Let the mystery commence.

smalltownme said...

Welcome back! I have so little to ramble about but I still try.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I think the answers to all your questions are probably to do things differently than you've done before if you aren't happy with the way things are. That's my armchair psychoanalysis, but I have had lots of therapy to get to that point (with my daughter's eating disorder treatment program).

Something about the mid-40s get you thinking. I hope it stops when I turn 50!