Today or Yesterday

My father died seventeen years ago yesterday or today.  I can never remember the exact date.

I don't think about my father very much anymore.  When I was two my parents separated.  They divorced when I was five.

I don't remember him ever living at home and I never lived with him.  He remarried soon after the divorce and I found out after his death that his wife didn't like my brother or me and didn't want him around.  I thought it was my dad. Maybe it was.  But what a thing to think all those years -- that it was primarily him not wanting me around and much of it was his wife.

On the other hand, hello.  I wouldn't have done that to my children.   We used to go over to his house, when we still lived in the same town, and he would stay in the bedroom with his wife and my brother and I would sit and watch TV for hours until he took us home.  It sucked.  It sucked being rejected and then rejected again.

I wonder if he were still alive if I would ask him about it now?  If he ever would have gotten around to saying he cared or he was sorry?  Maybe he didn't care.  I have a cousin who swears he was the best person on earth and that he was her best friend in many ways.  I can't hardly stand her for that.  I can't reconcile that while he avoided me he was going out of his way to be good to her.

Seventeen years ago yesterday or today my father died.  He was shoveling snow in a small town in Iowa.  I cried during the gun salute at the graveside.  I didn't know what I was crying for.

I still don't.

Bronchitis For Me

I finally drug myself to the doctor this morning and got some antibiotics for this ridiculous cough.  The doctor used the term "bronchitis"  and I'm going to get as much mileage out of that as I can.

Like:

"I can't make dinner I have bronchitis."

"The kids didn't get their homework done because I have bronchitis."

"I forgot to do the laundry (for the last two weeks) I have bronchitis."

"I'll scrub the bathroom down when my bronchitis is gone."

"I can't walk the dogs, I have bronchitis."

"I"m sorry honey, I have a bronchitis tonight."

"I put all this extra weight on when I got bronchitis."


OK, maybe I'm pushing it just a bit.  But I figure after two weeks of being sick I should get something out of it.  Like a nap.  Which I am very likely to take right now.

January So Far

It's cold here.  Like it is at your house I'm sure.

The kids had two snow days, sans snow.  There was barely enough for them to play in on Monday morning.

It was nice having them home, especially since I had been traveling and at teacher training and hadn't seen them since Tuesday morning last week.

Also I was traveling sick which is no fun at all.  It's kinda been a sticky, yucky past couple of weeks. Before I was sick the kids were sick.  Before that it was the holidays.

Today I'm finally catching my breath.  It's my first "normal" day since mid-December.  No holiday errands to run, kids are back at school.  It's finally quiet.  It's kind of nice.  Actually, it's kind of wonderful.

I've been waiting for something blog worthy to happen, but of course if you are not blogging you don't notice the blog worthy things around you.  Most days seem to be average and I kind of like them that way.