Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Things That Almost Made Me Cry

OK then. Last I blogged I was all freaked out about a Herbst Appliance being glued into my kids mouth.

After my rant last Wednesday about orthodontia I took J13 to a second orthodontist consult. The first orthodontist spent maybe a total of five minutes with us between three visits.

Orthodontist #2 spent about 45 minutes with us on the first visit. He patiently listened to my freak out about the Herbst Appliance. He talked to J13. Talked to us about the severity of his overbite/jaw issues (very very very bad). Said there are two doctors in this -- himself and me. Said we just need to take it one step at a time and that there are other options to the Herbst. That he didn't think it was the right thing for J13.

He also said we need to wait at least nine months because he has one baby tooth to lose and four permanent teeth still coming in.

Which begs the question why was ortho #1 in such a freaking hurry?

Yes, I almost cried in his office talking to him, it was such a relief to have someone listen and understand. We are still going to a third consult just because I had the appointment set up and it is an orthodontist highly recommended.

Yesterday J13 started swim team. Against his will. He loves to swim and his swim teacher (who won the state butterfly in her division three years in a row and is on full swim scholarship at college this year) said he "has a talent and a gift and really needs to be on a team."

He really resisted and we really insisted and finally told him he was joining a team.

Yesterday was the first day of practice. J44 was going to stop by after work so I hung around with some other parents. We were all talking and watching the kids swim. I left about half way through practice to pick up a pizza and meet the kids at home after practice. Later J13 told me he thought I left because he wasn't doing well.

I wish I could tell you I don't know where he gets this but I do.

The thing is I'm so proud of him for getting in there and swimming when he really didn't want to (except I think he kind of wants to). I know how hard this is for him. He's never done any sports. He's terrified of others watching him, of failing. But I'm pretty sure buried under all that is a fierce competitor who wants to succeed and who will fight for it.

I don't know if swimming will turn out to be one his things. I hope it will. I want him to have the physical confidence that will come with it. I want him to take a chance and work for something and allow himself to fall in love with it.

It really broke my heart when he said he thought I left because of what he was doing. I don't know if he thought I was embarrassed or ashamed or angry. The thing is I praise my kids, tell them I'm proud of them, I believe in them. I tell them all the time. Yesterday reminded me of how insecure and sensitive J13 can be and that I need to pay attention and figure out what I can do to boost his confidence. He's such an amazing kid. They both are. I just hope someday they can see it as much as I do.


Christy said...

Oh man, I hope so too! I hope he decides he wants it.

And I'm SO GLAD you went to that 2nd ortho, and am interested to hear what the 3rd says. Keep us in the loop, k?

Take care! Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

My youngest son joined the wrestling team last year. His call. Said he just wanted to do something different. I was so proud of him, even though he didn't win a single match. He's got some weight to lose, or rather just tone up into muscle, and once he decides to get real about it, then he'll make it happen.

Kids are so cool . . .

Magpie said...

glad you got another opinion.

V-Grrrl @ Compost Studios said...

Wow, can't believe the first ortho only spent five minutes with you. My kids actually were sent for an ortho consult when they were preschoolers! One for a very small mouth, one for an overbite. The first consult was about 45 minutes (and free). They kept seeing the ortho for consults once or twice a year (all free). Some baby teeth were extracted very early on for my son, followed by some permanent teeth in elementary school, and then when he was 13, he had two more teeth pulled an finally got the braces. Total cost was around $6,000 too. When he was small, they thought he'd need head gear but it turned out he didn't. And the best part of all is my daughter's teeth moved into alignment on their own. She's almost 14 and we've been told she won't need braces after all. I'm glad you got the second opinion and hope the third brings clarity to your treatment options.

Cha Cha said...

Y'all are on the right path - just some bumps right now. Your story about swim team reminds me of my little brother - another sensitive soul. My parents forced him to join marching band, and he was so not pleased. But it ended up being so much fun, and helped him come out of his shell. Plus, he went on to play in college, too. Sometimes, mom really does know best.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

First, SO Glad you found a better ortho--having everyone buy in and feel like you made the right choice is so critical. The new one sounds a lot like ours--who has us waiting to do anything in T's mouth until the baby teeth fall out.

Second, I really hope swim team works out. Could be pretty cool for your son to succeed AND get used to having everyone proud of him and cheering loud;) (Not that you DON'T already, but sports really bring that out in people.)

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I don't see anything wrong with telling your kids they need something extra-curricular-band, art, athletics--which one doesn't matter to me, but you have to do SOMETHING.

I hope the 3rd ortho agrees with the 2nd one and you can be sure you're doing the right thing.

San Diego Momma said...

Everything you're doing? Is because you love your kids.
It's all going to turn out as it should...