After my rant last Wednesday about orthodontia I took J13 to a second orthodontist consult. The first orthodontist spent maybe a total of five minutes with us between three visits.
Orthodontist #2 spent about 45 minutes with us on the first visit. He patiently listened to my freak out about the Herbst Appliance. He talked to J13. Talked to us about the severity of his overbite/jaw issues (very very very bad). Said there are two doctors in this -- himself and me. Said we just need to take it one step at a time and that there are other options to the Herbst. That he didn't think it was the right thing for J13.
He also said we need to wait at least nine months because he has one baby tooth to lose and four permanent teeth still coming in.
Which begs the question why was ortho #1 in such a freaking hurry?
Yes, I almost cried in his office talking to him, it was such a relief to have someone listen and understand. We are still going to a third consult just because I had the appointment set up and it is an orthodontist highly recommended.
Yesterday J13 started swim team. Against his will. He loves to swim and his swim teacher (who won the state butterfly in her division three years in a row and is on full swim scholarship at college this year) said he "has a talent and a gift and really needs to be on a team."
He really resisted and we really insisted and finally told him he was joining a team.
Yesterday was the first day of practice. J44 was going to stop by after work so I hung around with some other parents. We were all talking and watching the kids swim. I left about half way through practice to pick up a pizza and meet the kids at home after practice. Later J13 told me he thought I left because he wasn't doing well.
I wish I could tell you I don't know where he gets this but I do.
The thing is I'm so proud of him for getting in there and swimming when he really didn't want to (except I think he kind of wants to). I know how hard this is for him. He's never done any sports. He's terrified of others watching him, of failing. But I'm pretty sure buried under all that is a fierce competitor who wants to succeed and who will fight for it.
I don't know if swimming will turn out to be one his things. I hope it will. I want him to have the physical confidence that will come with it. I want him to take a chance and work for something and allow himself to fall in love with it.
It really broke my heart when he said he thought I left because of what he was doing. I don't know if he thought I was embarrassed or ashamed or angry. The thing is I praise my kids, tell them I'm proud of them, I believe in them. I tell them all the time. Yesterday reminded me of how insecure and sensitive J13 can be and that I need to pay attention and figure out what I can do to boost his confidence. He's such an amazing kid. They both are. I just hope someday they can see it as much as I do.