Friday, June 24, 2011

Things Are Happening

My mom sold her house Wednesday. It's craziness. She didn't have to put it on the market. Her realtor had someone who wanted to buy a house in her development, they looked at the house for five minutes Tuesday evening and Wednesday evening she signed the contract for the price she asked. No negotiation, no waiting for months on end.

If it's going to happen this is the best way for it to happen.

I'm pretty sure next week she'll be here looking for a house. I'm going to try and take the week off, for the most part, and go house hunting with her. She has a little over a month to find a house and get her stuff packed up and down here.

I'm less freaked out then I thought I would be.

My main goal is to take care of myself and my family through all this, be kind to my mother, not let her drive me crazy, and be true to myself.

That last one is coming from a conversation I had with her last time she was here (and countless others). I said something about usually getting up around 5:00 or 5:30 every morning and she said, "I know you do. To read the Bible. RIGHT?" It was her way of being reassured that I was still walking the straight and narrow and one and only path she believes in.

I came really close to saying, "No, I get up and journal, do yoga and meditate." I really did almost tell the truth, but then I caved and said, "yeah,"

I don't like that I do this. Obviously it's not the first time I've told her what she wanted to hear and living 1,000 miles from her makes it easy to hide my life from her and not deal with her disapproval and criticism and all out panic for the state of my soul.

After that last conversation I determined to become stronger and if she gets snoopy about my personal/spiritual life to be honest about it.

It's one thing to tell her what she wants to hear or just not give out info when I'm just talking to her once or twice a week.

It's a whole other thing when she's going to be walking into my house whenever the hell she feels like it and totally getting into my business.

It's not going to be fun. So I'm going to go ahead and get started right now with being strong and honest about my life.

That sounds pretty impressive. We'll see how it goes.

In other news J13 is trying out for a swim team today! He's not fighting me on it either. He's actually bringing it up in conversation and I think he actually wants to do it -- to check it out anyways. I'm just excited that at this point he isn't screaming and kicking and crying about it. That he's going along with it. He's a natural swimmer and he needs something like this. He needs to at least try.


Christy said...

Yay for the positive attitude about the swimteam!

One thing that struck me is this: (bearing in mind that I don't know you at all, or your mother, this is just my personal take on it) - just because your mother is going to be living near you, does not give her the right to waltz into your house whenever she wants. You may give her a key, out of necessity, but it's up to you to set the rules, right from the get-go. I'd tell her that you would like advance notice if she'd like to come over. No just dropping by allowed.

IF that were my house, and my family, those would be our rules anyway. :)

It's great her house sold so quickly!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Christy is right! My mom and I were very, very close, but there was still no waltzing.

I hope you can work this out with your mom--you sound like you have the right attitude.

V-Grrrl said...

I've never had family live anywhere near me since I left home at 18.

I come from a very conservative, religious background and it took me a while to stake my claim and own my beliefs. I gained confidence (and momentum) in my late 20s. In the beginning, I used to attend church services with family members when I visited, and then I refused to do that. There is no reason to be ashamed of being an adult and making your own choices. Trust me, the sooner you unapologetically begin claiming who you are, the better your relationship with her will be. The key is to make it clear you are not rejecting HER and respect her beliefs/practices, even if you don't share them.