Everything was fine. It was finally Friday evening, we were sitting in the living room trying to decide what I was going to make for dinner.
And by "make for dinner" I mean pick up take-out or drag the family to a restaurant.
I'm just relaxing, talking to the family, when J12 says "43 days!"
I said, "What???"
Oh, I knew immediately what he was talking about, but I didn't want to admit it.
"What? What's in 43 days?"
It was like a fire alarm went off in my head. Forty-three days? Are you kidding me?
I hate when I get a reality check like that. And just when I had been ready to write a post about how, for probably the first time in my life, I was one hundred percent excited about the holidays. How I had changed and evolved and had lost all my old fear and worry and expectation of disappointment.
For a moment, when he first said, "43 days" all those old feelings rushed back in.
Then I took a deep breath, realized I was just giving into an old habit and not genuine feelings, exhaled, and welcomed back the excitement and anticipation I had already begun to feel about Christmas.
Yesterday I had been thinking about writing a post about change. The subtle changes I feel happening in my life because of the yoga and meditation.
I think I just did.