Saturday, June 19, 2010


A couple of weeks ago my oldest turned 12.

I've been noticing adolescence sneaking up on him for a few months. He's always been a mama's boy and would just grab me when I was walking by and hug me. He's always been clingy, not very independent and emotionally needy. He's always preferred to spend time with me, much to his father's frustration.

He is very much like me -- my personality, my quirks. He likes to say that he is about 75 percent me and his brother, D8, is about 75 percent their dad. That sums it up pretty well.

I'm making a conscious effort to let go of him and to not interfere to much when I see him processing things so much the way I did as a child. It's hard not to jump in and try and feel it for him. Of course I can't. But we could fix things so easily when they were babies and toddlers. Change a diaper. Feed them. Fix a toy.

Now it's not always that easy.

I love seeing his sense of humor develop. It's much like mine -- sarcastic and dry. He's funny, introspective and smart.

Just in time for father's day he's turning towards his dad. It's been happening for awhile. He likes hanging out with him, going places. About 3:00 p.m. every day he starts anticipating his dad's arrival. I see them bonding and developing a relationship just like my husband had with his dad.

This morning D8 asked for pancakes and while I was making them I remembered making shaped pancakes for J12 when he was younger. I couldn't quite remember what shape so I asked him. We had to think about it for a moment but then he remembered -- Blue's Clues paw prints!

At 12 he's standing on the brink between child and teen. I like this age. He's still mine but I have some breathing room.

I asked him if he wanted me to make him a paw print pancake and he said yes. So I did. It was like a little shout out to the past. A nice memory saluted on this ordinary Saturday morning. Something he'll forget much sooner than I will. Which is how it should be.


Coco said...

I have two girls and they were scary as teens. The phone was a big big problem even with two lines. Sometimes I do wish they were little again. Then I remember wanting to run away from home when they were becoming young women and change my mind.

texasholly said...

breathing room.


so so sweet and now I need pancakes.

yogurt said...

12 is, in some ways, the perfect age. Old enough to give breathing room, as you say (so well put) but young enough to think Mom and Dad have something worthwhile to say. But 15? oh my.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Those childhood memories and traditions keep us going through the rough years--that's why they're so important.

Rebecca said...

He sounds sweet. Treasure every moment. :)

anymommy said...

Just a little look back together, before leaping forward. I love this. Enjoy the deep breaths.

Jennifer said...

Loved this. Just had a thought - my boy is almost as tall as I am, and he's too big to carry.

Which is true, in other ways now, too.

flutter said...

this is so beautiful

Very Mary said...

my daughter just reached 13, and we're still in this wonderfully weird state of transition...

Jen on the Edge said...

My older one is almost 12 and I'm trying to give her more wiggle room and more independence. It's hard, but I think I'm figuring it out.

I think her 13th birthday will be really hard for me.

V-Grrrl @ Compost Studios said...

It has been interesting to watch my two develop, and see how they take after their dad and how they take after me and how they're just themselves. They're close to both of us, in different ways, and I like that.

Mine are both teens now, and honestly, it's not that much different than parenting them at any other age.