Ten Mysteries From the House of Panic
1. Even though I sent J to Kr*ger at 9:00 p.m. yesterday (less then 12 hours ago) I already have three items on the list that MUST BE PURCHASED TODAY.
2. There are three huge baskets of clean laundry on the dining room floor -- but still 9Pim had to wear yesterday's school pants to school today -- I couldn't find any clean ones.
3. Although I am keeping the local Targ*t in business by purchasing giant packages of socks every other week I still spend a minimum of five minutes every morning trying to find matching socks for the boys (audio not available due to inappropriate content).
4. The dishes. Seriously.
5. Although 9Pim is capable of building the K'nex Roller Coaster he is NOT capable of putting away his shoes, his belt, or putting socks in the hamper (thus #3).
6. I think there are tiny little elves under the boys beds manufacturing itty bitty toy pieces and then during the night they go around the house and leave them everywhere.
7. Why does two hours of doing something I enjoy (reading, sewing) feel like five minutes, but five minutes of cleaning the house feels like two hours? Is there a drug for this?
8. When is it that the two dogs are letting their neighborhood buddies in the back yard? Because, seriously, I don't see how it is possible for two dogs to produce that much poop.
9. They say inanimate objects can't reproduce. Well, I have a house full of dryer sheets and plastic grocery bags that prove that theory wrong. (back off! i use the canvas bags most of the time).
10. Even though the fridge and pantry are full to overflowing (except for those three items mentioned in #1) why does it seem like there is nothing in the house to eat?
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
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15 comments:
You have seriously described my life. I would chose a favorite, but they are perfectly apply.
How is that meal plan coming? We are eating stale crackers and canned veggie meat over here with sprite because we are out of milk.
I don't want to laugh at your tribulations, but you put them in such a droll way, I can't help it!
My kids are convinced there is a boggart living in their room, who comes out and trashes the place at night. (Yeahhhh, I'm still making them clean it up!)
Dishes...Ugh.
Clean clothes, but no clean clothes...Ugh, Ugh.
Nothing for dinner...Time for a Girls' night Out!!!!
sometimes, it's ok to use a flame thrower as a cleaning implement
I've given up trying to match socks. As long as their both wearing two were in business.
You should see the basket of socks at my house. I'm thinking of just buying a bigger basket.
You've described my house. Did you visit and not tell me?
These are so funny...and exactly right.
You have stated the universal truths:
1. You will go to the grocery store with ONE item to buy. You will walk out with at least ten items. And the next morning at breakfast, you realize you have no eggs. Or milk.
2. Cavas bags? Oh yeah, I've got five conveniently located in the backseat, so I literally just need to reach back and grab them before heading into the store.
Nine times out of ten: It is only after I am in the store with a cart half full of stuff that I remember the canvas bags. Maybe I should move them to the front seat.
-Suzanne.
p.s. thx for stopping by!
The dishes are a mystery for me too. Who keeps dirtying them? How can there be a sink full before the dishwasher is done running?
Girlfriend, I am LAUGHING OUT LOUD. You speak to my very heart, My Dear! The dishes. Seriously...
How do my kids get downstairs in the wee hours of the morning and silently prepare themselves the least nutritious breakfast to involve sugar and waffles? That is my morning mystery.
The drug for which you search is called "chocolate."
And we suffer from the full (not!) refrigerator syndrome too. It looks full, but the whole thing is just filled with condiments. And moldy leftovers.
#9?
Amen.
SOOOOO funny! #7 is so me! If you find the drug, let me know.
To suburbancorrespondent: Chocolate? Why is it when you eat a piece of chocolate, it's gone so fast that you don't even REMEMBER eating it? (Of course then you have to eat about 36 more pieces, and by then you start to remember that maybe something pleasant happened to you. And then the realization hits you that you'll have to spend 2 extra hours exercising to make up for it--which will of course SEEM like 2 full days.)
DITTO to 2, 3, 4, 7 & 8.
OMG, this is MY LIFE too!!!!! I feel so much better now... :)
are you me or am I you?
(fridge full, head empty - I get this often and I hate it)
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